day 1 (or are we on 2 now)?

things aren't so bad yet.
i'm very jittery and my body seems upset with me like we aren't quite on the same page. draping my body over an exercise ball and bouncing my stomach on it feels good.

i have lots of layers of clothes on. chilly. kinda sweaty too. but i think i still need some more on.

been going on some walks to get the jittery-ness out. my dad was laughing because he couldn't keep up with me.

sleep is hard. the body doesn't want to stay in the same position for any amount of time. i am taking a drug to help with this and it seem to be helping.

i talked to jamie online today and i couldn't read what we were talking about. my eyes needed the font bigger so that i could see it properly.

i tried to read a book. it was quite the experience. some words are there and the others don't register in my mind. if i could get some sentences together, i couldn't remember what they were trying to say.

not too much nausea or extreme increase in pain.

tomorrow is supposed to be the worst but maybe it won't be as bad as some other experiences i've had with withdrawal in the past.

thanks for all of your facebook comments and support.

i will try to update again.

Cold Turkey

Well I'm not in a very bloggy mood but I thought I'd type on here real quick while I still feel like it.

I saw a doctor today that specializes in helping people that are dependent on opiates. He gave me several options of how I could get off of my pain killers, and I decided to just go for it and take the super-fast track. Now is the time to do it. I've been quitting since August very gradually, and I'm really sick of dragging it out.

So I took my very last pain pill at 2:23pm today. I am not feeling anything yet. He gave me several new drugs to help with the withdrawal symptoms. He said you can't die from opiate withdrawal, but you will just wish that you could. I will feel like I have the flu, get nauseous, probably vomit, be agitated and restless, have chills and sweats, and experience an increase in my pain levels. My dad brought me home a sack from Walgreens of all the medications I can take to help combat those symptoms.

The doctor said day 3 will probably be the worst, but after a week or so I will feel better (not like a million bucks, but better).

So this is the new plan! I am scared out of my mind but it was completely my choice to do it and I really want to go through with it.

I would appreciate all your prayers so much. Any strength and courage that I have to conquer this I know will come from God and Him alone. If you have any fitting verses to share with me that I can be meditating on while I'm sick, I would love that too - thank you, friends!

Here's a link if you want to know a little bit more about opiate withdrawal:
MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia: Opiate withdrawal